Arguing with your children is not the best way to spend your time.
You could get yourself in trouble, or worse yet, you could say or do something that will hurt your child’s feelings, and they may resent you for a long time.
Here are some points to consider before you decide to argue strongly with your kids.
Some Reasons Not To Fight With Your Kids
1. You Will Be Seen As Boring
The problem with arguing with your kids is that you will always ‘lose’ in their eyes if it’s a fight. You will never win when you argue with your kids. If you do try to win, you will just end up annoying them.
If you want your children to respect your opinions, don’t try to reason with them in the form of a heated argument. If they start disagreeing with what you believe, you will have to accept their opinion without getting angry or trying to make them change their minds.
The best way is to address their perspective but also let them know the benefit or advantage of why they should do what you are saying. If you do this, they won’t see you as a boring adult who doesn’t understand them.
Instead they will feel that you are on their level and will feel closer to you and more willing to reason with you.
2. It’s Not Fun For Them
The other problem with arguing with your children is that it’s not fun for them. As an adult that provides for your children, it’s likely that you are going to be ‘right’ at the end, and they are going to be wrong.
And that means that the whole conversation will be based on a fight.
They will be fighting back at you because they know that they can’t win. When you get upset, they will also get upset. And that means that you will be getting into a war of words.
And since neither of you wants to lose the argument, you will both end up getting upset, and it will just be worse for both of you. That’s not fun or productive.
3. They Will Start Fighting Back
Even if you try to argue with your kids about something they are doing, you will just annoy them. And when you start arguing with them, they are going to start getting angry. And when they do that, they are going to start fighting back against what you say.
So you will start fighting back too. And before you know it, the whole thing will be turning into a war. The other problem with arguing is that it’s not fun for either of you.
It’s hard for children to grow and have good experiences when they know that you are going to keep arguing about something forever.
4. They Will Only Get More Aggressive
When your children start fighting back at you, they will start doing things that they normally wouldn’t do. And if you don’t like it, then you can end up making them do things that they don’t want to do.
In the end, you are just making their behavior worse. So they are just going to get angrier and angrier as you keep arguing.
5. They May Become Disobedient
Another problem with arguing with your kids is that they might just refuse to listen to you. If you want to make them obey you, then you need to avoid arguing.
If you try to argue with your kids about something, then they may just ignore what you are saying. And if they ignore what you are saying, then they may just start doing what they want.
6. You Will Lose Your Temper
All the time. All the time in the world. I don’t think I’ve met a parent who hasn’t lost their temper at least once in the last week. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. It just means that you’re exhausted.
In this situation, arguing isn’t going to help you at all. Your kids will get defensive and potentially feel hurt and start crying. When tempers flare, parents might go beyond the original issue, and say things they don’t mean.
So it’s better to just step away until your temper cools down a bit. One of the things about fighting is that you will just end up making everything worse.
How To Talk To Your Kids Without Arguing With Them
I think we can all agree that arguing with your children is never fun. Especially when they’re young. But if you want them to listen, you have to be patient, and sometimes you have to compromise.
There are many things that you can do to keep the peace. And one of the best things you can do is try to reason with them. If you can learn to communicate with them calmly and politely, they will listen more often.
Reason With Your Kids Without Arguing With Them
When you’re talking to your children, it’s important to know that they don’t always understand everything that you’re saying. That’s normal. In fact, it’s usually a good thing.
This means that if you are trying to reason with your kids, it’s a good idea to explain the situation to them in an easy way. You can use images, and make sure that they understand your point of view.
But if you start arguing with your kids, you’re doing them a huge disservice. They are already feeling confused, and your argument only makes things worse.
So if you want to keep the peace, and have a better relationship with your children, you should try to talk to them nicely instead of arguing with them.
Let Them Feel Sorry for Themselves
When you’re trying to reason with your kids, it’s important to let them feel sorry for themselves. Children are always thinking about how other people are having fun. And if you can’t understand why they’re sad, then it will be very difficult to convince them to listen to you.
In fact, you should try to convince them to do what you want by acknowledging how hard it is for them to agree with you. If you talk to them like you are their ally, it will make them want to make things easier on you.
They will be more willing to listen to you then. You can also nicely explain to them why it will make you happy.
When you introduce a loving and caring attitude into the discussion and show them that it’s okay for them to feel sorry for themselves in that moment, you’ll be surprised how much some children will let go of their resistance in some of these situations.
For example, you can tell them that you want them to come home from school on time, or that you want them to wash their hands after they use the bathroom.
When they resist, show them that you know how hard it is for them to do it. This will turn off or reduce their “resistance mode’.
Then explain to them why you want them to do what you want, and explain to them why it will make you happy. This will help them understand why they should listen to you.
If they are old enough, they will probably already know why it will make you happy, but sometimes it helps to just mention it.
Tell Them the Reason Why You’re Making Them Do What You Want
The next thing you should do when trying to convince your kids to listen to you is to tell them why you want them to do what you want. And if you do this properly, you should be able to explain it in a way that they can understand.
You can start by asking them what they want, and then explaining why they want it. You can also ask them how it will make them feel.
By showing this empathy, you are teaching your kids that there is a way to get things done without arguing and forcing them to do tings. This will help them understand why they should listen to you.
When you tell them the reason why they should do something, now they will actually listen more and internalize the reason better.
Over time they will become mature and will be conditioned through these experiences to resist less and to talk out these issues with you – because they know from an early age that you are on their side and can actually understand and empathize with them.
I hope these points have given you a few ideas and considerations of how you can deal with your kids and avoid any arguments.